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A couple of old people who lost their lives in Shenzhen.
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- aimode.news
- @aimode_news
One.
I'm a social worker, and that's what you call a social worker, and the hard-to-reach group is the main client of our team. At present, in addition to health promotion and promotion of “health-care integration”, I am also providing services to families with disabilities in the Bailiwick (only children with disabilities), such as social resource links, social support network set-up, psychological comfort, recreational escorts, crisis intervention, etc. Every year, the municipality provides free medical examinations to single and disabled families, with the participation of social workers - some of whose parents are older, have mobility or communication barriers and need to be led by social workers. There are also single children with intellectual or mental disabilities whose parents take care of them. One day in June 2022, I led a young person with intellectual disabilities to the Ears, Nasal and Throat Section for an examination, and I met my colleagues on the road. It was just like a gray-haired uncle who was in a wheelchair, and an aunt was on the side, and when we passed by, she looked at me and smiled and noded at me. There were more people examined that day, near 10.30 a.m., and we were waiting for room B to call. I asked myself, "Is there a lot left to examine?"
Just shake your head and say it's over with only one B. As she was sweating and wet her hair, I slapped her on the shoulder and said, "It's hard. She hasn't been able to answer yet, but the aunt said with some guilt, "It's really hard for you today, pushing Uncle Feng around, and his legs and legs are weak, and he's doing something slower than anyone else, and I have to look at you."
As I was told, this is Uncle Feng's wife, Aunt Fae, 73 years old. She's not tall, her hair is short and white. Uncle Feng is five years older than her and has some ears and ears that require a higher volume to talk. In 2019, Uncle Feng was unable to move for long periods of time owing to the weakness of his legs as a result of the effects of his brain infarction. Their only son has died, leaving only the two of them. With this information, I recall that my own hospital recently introduced a home-based home-based service, which provides some medical and old-age services for professionals such as doctors, nurses, carers and social workers. This was very convenient for some of the elderly and inconvenient, so I made a brief introduction to Aunt Fa. Aunt Hana was happy to hear: "That's great, we live in the stairwell, we're old, our knees are worn out, don't say he, I walk hard. It's hard to get out of here when you're older. I think there's someone who can walk him downstairs in the park, he's too lazy to go home, he's happy to hear what people say, and I told him not to move, so it doesn't matter if he spends some money.”
Aunt Hana asked me if I had any relevant leaflets and wanted to take them back and take a closer look. Unfortunately, when I did not, I indicated that I could go to the house with a simple visit, introduce her to the service and make a needs assessment. A month later, me and Juno went to Aunt Hana's house. It was an old sector with a large empty iron door at the entrance to the building, with several bicycles on the left side of the first floor, with ash on the seat and on the head. There was a rusty letterbox on the right side of the wall, which fell upside down as most of the screws were loose. On the fourth floor, I found the concrete-colored stairs to be very narrow and had to allow two people to pass in parallel. The heights of the steps are not uniform, and sometimes the steps are bigger, sometimes smaller, and can easily be emptied. When I got to the place, I was like a doorshot and shouting, "How are you?" There was no one to open the door, but the puppy screamed first. We heard her rush in the house, and we heard her drive the dog to the side, and then the door rubbed down to the floor, making a hard “creaking”. Aunt Hana's house is a two-bedroom living room, which is open and bright, but which is simple, with little furniture and some empty. Uncle Feng is resting on the wooden couch in the living room in the morning, seeing us, laughing, saying hello to us. Aunt Hana raised his voice, “Be polite”. Uncle Feng did what he had to do. He sat on the couch with his hands. After the last medical examination, she was hospitalized, as if she had been informed, and the smile of her eyebrow disappeared and her eyebrow wrinkled: “The days before I was hospitalized, my head was dazed, but I didn't care, I was in the middle of the afternoon, I was in the bathroom and suddenly fainted and my heart was beating fast, and I was afraid that I would suddenly faint. Then I called the family doctor who told me to go to the hospital and check my blood vessels...
Me and Pure were all the same, old people were the most afraid of falling, prone to strokes and fortunately, she didn't faint and sat down in time. Later, the doctor advised Aunt Hana to stay in the hospital, but she was not worried that Uncle Feng was alone at home. His legs and feet were so inconvenient that he could not cook for himself and bathe alone was even more dangerous. In the event that she contacted the community workstation, she was in demand, and the staff recruited a volunteer, “The volunteer was kind, he was in charge of three meals a day for Uncle Feng, he was in the bathroom at night, he waited in the living room and waited until he took a bath”. The doctor advised the aunt to spend six months in hospital, but before that time she requested to be discharged. As if she didn't understand, she should have followed the doctor's advice, and she smiled with a bit of shame: "Someone must've helped me, I've been in trouble for days, and I'm embarrassed for 10 days, and I don't feel sick anymore."
I asked Aunt Fa what kind of service she wanted. Turning back, she looked at Uncle Feng and said that the old man used to like to ride a bike and sit in a park, even though his legs were not so convenient now, and he liked to go out. But she had a problem with her own knee, which would hurt as soon as she could push the wheelchair, and wanted someone to go to the park and not sit at home all day. "I've been with him all day, and I don't have much to talk about, and I want someone to talk to him to avoid dementia. I look at him, and now he's a little old-fashioned. In fact, after the last exchange at the Medical Examination Centre, I gave back to the head of the hospital nursing department the special circumstances of the family. The Director believes that, while we are trying to meet the needs of her aunts, it is more appropriate to provide social workers' services at the most favourable price - i.e., social workers are more caring and caring for the elderly; ii. Currently and only social workers' services do not have to pay for services on the platform, although a certain door-to-door fee is charged, 80 per cent of these costs are subsidized by the Civil Service. So I took the job. Two.
When I first went to my aunt's house, White pretended to be strong at me, but the second time he came to the door, he was lying at my feet and I touched his head. Aunt Hana said that Xiao Baihara was a neighbor's dog who had to move and could not continue to feed her, and gave her Xiao Bai. At that time, her son had passed away, and she thought that having a puppy might divert some of her attention and let her have a little bit of fun in the family and took in White. This is 16 years. I'm taking Uncle Feng for a walk. The first time I went downstairs with an old man, I was scared. In the middle of the day, Uncle Feng's walking on the flat floor was very slow, let alone four floors down. I'm not worried, I'm going to take Uncle Feng with my hot kettle and my wheelchair cushion behind him. I seem to underestimate Uncle Feng because the stairs are not wide enough to hold the wall with one hand, and to move slowly down. After a while, he was tired, standing there resting, waiting for enough time to move on. I'm looking at him, and I'm relieved that I've come to the first floor for fear of a slip. At that time, Aunt Hana told us to wait. She's going to the stairwell to move the wheelchair out. The old stairwell is low, and it takes two steps down to get there, and the smell of urine spills out of it, and there are spider webs on the corner. I offered to help, but she said no, just let me hold White and keep an eye on Uncle Feng: "When I bought a wheelchair, I moved by myself and I had the skills."
Down to the stairwell, Aunt Flower opened the lock on the wheelchair and carefully folded and packed the white dustproof plastic sheet. Then she turned back and tried to pull the wheelchair up two steps. Probably because the stairs were too high, or because of lack of strength, the wheelchair suddenly slipped and the wheel hit a bang on the floor. I'm so nervous and sweaty, I'm so busy reminding Aunt Hana to be careful. For the second time, she bended over, lowered her focus, and finally moved her wheelchair out. I couldn't help but ask her for a key. And then every time I go upstairs, I move the wheelchair out before she takes the job. There's a small park not far from the block, and I pushed Uncle Feng forward, and I found it hard to hold the pedals on the side of the wheelchair, and the brakes weren't easy to press, and I said, "Did this wheelchair buy long?"
Aunt Hana said the wheelchair was only bought for months. I'm afraid she'll be fooled. Ask her where she bought it, how much it cost. Aunt Hana said the wheelchair was only $400, and it was a lot of money to buy it: "I pushed him too hard, we used little, so I bought one. I'm going to have to bother you more."
"It's no trouble." I said, "You're great. You'll buy more with a lot of effort. My grandmother's the same age as you. She'll only pick up a phone."
She smiled with shame and washed the ash from her pants, and she said, "Research slowly, learn slowly. Ran, I don't really want to learn, but I've got a lot of things to buy online, and if I can't learn, it's hard to buy, there's no young people in the family, and Uncle Feng can't take care of his family, so I'm on my own."
I'm like, "I don't know." So what I thought of was "great" and it had to be strong, and no one in the world could count on it. After a little chat, she took White for a walk, and Uncle Feng sat quietly in a rock chair, watching the crowd on the road and occasionally looking up at the sky. Uncle Feng told me he likes to come here, "It's nice to blow in the shade." To get closer, I volunteered to ask Uncle Feng about his experience. It may have been too long since he talked to anyone else about it, and he came up and said with a smile: "I came to Shenzhen in 1982, and your aunt came too soon." Speaking of which, he was driving with his hands up, and he was like, "Oh, those old buses, I was fixing them, I was a car mechanic, and your aunt was a long-distance car ticket salesman."
By the way, it's been 40 years since they came to Shenzhen, and I'm sorry that the time went on. Uncle Feng asked me where I was from and where I lived now — actually, they asked him, and he was there, except that he was deaf and often drowsy and didn't hear him, and I answered him loudly. In the park, other than Uncle Feng and me, there's an old man who comes here on a regular basis, comes over 1:00 p.m. and comes home at 5:00. Uncle Feng told me that his name was Chung and that he lived nearby because he had been drinking fake wine, which prevented the right half from moving freely. When we first met, Uncle Chung offered to greet me and then asked me who I was and why I came. He asked Uncle Feng, "Where's your wife?"
Uncle Feng didn't hear me, so I answered for him and said she was walking the dog. Uncle Chung suddenly changed his face and said, "Everyone cares about a dog."
I was a little confused as to why he had a problem with Aunt Flower, so I pretended not to hear it. It was dark in the summer, and at 6 p.m., Aunt Hana came back with White, and she was standing in the alley by the flower jar, shouting to Uncle Feng, "It's time to go back."
Uncle Feng's got a bit of an idea: "What are you doing so soon?"
Auntie Hana smiled and pointed at me, saying Ran was leaving. The escort service leaves at 5 p.m., but I said it was okay to sit down again, considering that Uncle Feng was not easy to come downstairs. Maybe I realized I was going to be on the subway for a long time, and Uncle Feng turned around and said he was going back. I saw him, and I confirmed again, "Really? Next time I come, it's the day after tomorrow."
He nodding his head, holding his hands to the rock chair and standing up. The wheelchair is on the side of the sidewalk, and there is a small distance to go. And he leaned forward with a stick, and I stood by. 3
I went to her house a few times and I met their third-floor neighbors. The aunt is Fung, 82 years old, widowed alone. She's got two daughters, about twice a year. Mrs. Feng is too old to buy food and cook. She cooks more and eats more every time. But every day at 3 p.m., she walks out. Once we met, I said, " Aunt Feng, you go out on time every day."
Aunt Feng sneezed and waved, and said, "A day is too long for me to go out. People get old and really bad. Wept three times, and it's so lame."
Aunt Fa told me that one time she fell at home, couldn't stand up and was alone, she had to crawl slowly to the door to call for help, and then went upstairs to the hospital. I said, "Did she call her daughter?"
Aunt Hana said, "Yeah, no answer."
Later, I found out that the aunt's toilet was not equipped with helpers and that Uncle Feng needed a smooth wall to get up. He had a bad leg and that was dangerous, so I applied for free hand help and ski mats, which were installed in the toilet. I also took my aunt to the Disabled Union to apply for subsidies for the purchase of assistive devices. I gave the evaluator an information note showing Uncle Feng's disability card and video of the inconvenience in daily life, which culminated in his passing and the acquisition of a brand-new wheelchair. Auntie Hana is very grateful and feels like she is in a good mood: on the one hand, we are not far from each other, and we speak the same dialect; on the other hand, she thinks I am particularly patient with Uncle Feng. I like to spend a lot of time with them, too, in the office, and I'd like to go out with them to the sun and talk. And they're the same age as my grandparents, and they always give me a feeling of affection. Once I arrived, Uncle Feng was still crying and sleeping. His personality was somewhat tedious, sometimes at the time of coming downstairs, and he either said that he had just had enough to eat and needed to sit down, or that he had not had enough time to rest, and that he needed a little sleep to recover his strength. I went to wake Uncle Feng, and he turned around and looked at me and said, "Here you are." Then he put his right hand on his face, closed his eyes and said he had to keep his eyes closed. I've been laughed, my auntie's crying, and I've got an expression of hate. I put my hands on her shoulder and pushed her to the living room: "It's all right, until he feels better."
We sat side by side on the sofa and Aunt Flower suddenly asked me how many brothers and sisters I had. And I said, "Three," and she said, "That's good, and your mother's happy, having children, and now you're all grown up."
I said, "Getting older is growing up, but when it comes to making her happy, we have to work hard."
Aunt Hana says it's good to know to work hard, but don't put too much pressure on yourself: "It's good to have that heart."
The day was dark, the sky looked gray, but it was not hot. The window in the living room is open, the leaves outside the window are shaking, the wind comes in, it's cool, it's nice. All of a sudden, Aunt Hana wore old glasses and she opened her phone album and kept pulling it up like she was looking for something. After a while, she lighted a picture and put it in front of me: "This is my kid, Barry, at the age of one."
In the picture, a young boy with a full head is sitting on a stool with a white bear in his arms. His little face against a bear, his eyes like a moon, and his smile was so sweet. And I said, "I'm so proud," and Aunt Hana magnified the picture, and said, "Yeah, I was so happy when I was a kid and I was good."
She ordered another four-person photo taken at the beach. Two children stood in the middle, Aunt Hana and her sister on both sides. At the time, she was carrying an eight-year-old son, with a wet hair, and Barry's left hand, with a pair of scissors, and her right hand, with his right hand, with his right hand in the ring, laughed so well. Even with the old glasses, I saw Aunt Fa red in my eyes. She choked: “O Ran, after he left, for a long time I was afraid to look at his picture. I can't look at his picture. It's only a few years since I saw his picture."
I gently touch the back of Aunt Flower: "Now you look, it means you're slowly dropping."
Aunt Hana took off her glasses, pressed her eyes and wiped out her tears: “I haven't accepted it completely yet. It is still time to forget your pain.
4
The fall of a child in her prime is a huge and painful blow to her parents. As mentioned to me, Barry died by accident, but she was not sure why. And I thought, since Aunt Fleur had taken the initiative to mention Barry, something might be easier to say, so I asked her, "Can you tell me how Barry left?"
Aunt Hana's back slowly leaned on the couch, talking about the day. One day in 1995, Aunt Hana was in her own room and suddenly heard the neighbors downstairs shouting her name so hard that she would go downstairs: "Something happened!" She immediately went downstairs and saw her son lying in a bloodbath, with her legs soft and kneeling. By that time, Barry had been diagnosed with depression for more than two years after his 20th birthday, and he had been weak and weak all day. At that time, there was no understanding of depression, and he was told that he had “dirty things” on his body, and Uncle Feng went out to ask for the help of the Goddess. The day Uncle Feng left home, Barry went to the top of the seventh floor. The police later surveyed the scene and concluded that Burry had been sitting on the roof of the building without a fence, probably trying to stand up but not to stand firm, and fell off his foot. “After this happened, I felt like a crazy bitch, sitting down, losing my soul, getting up in bed, lying down all day, and it was painful.” Aunt Flower's voice was calm. "What about Uncle Feng? What happened to him after this?"
She looked at Uncle Feng's bedroom door and said, "He's better than me. I couldn't even mention it at that time, but when I thought about it, I couldn't stop crying and he could talk to his colleagues.”
After the loss of her only son, she was in pain and the couple tried to lighten her suffering with pre-pregnancy, but she was pregnant twice and lost her heart in about three months. “The human heart is complicated, and I don't know who in the unit said to him that he could use another woman's belly to have a baby, and he came back and said I didn't agree. He assured me that he would have nothing to do with that woman after the child was born, and I still disagree. When the baby is born, it's gonna be a lot of trouble.
I was a little shocked: "And then, did Uncle Feng insist?"
"I didn't like it, and I thought my body was okay, and I wrote him a letter of agreement and went to the hospital to check out who it was. If it's my problem, I agree that he should go to another woman to have a baby, but if it's his problem, we can never talk about it again. After the check-up, it turns out his sperm is of poor quality and survival is too low. And then he kept the deal and never mentioned it to me again."
For Aunt Flower, there were other points that were most troubling. Sometimes some people ask her, "What will you do when you get old?" These words really stinged her, and she didn't want to respond, usually silently or simply walked away. There are times when a group of women who know each other talk so much that as soon as they walk by, they suddenly go silent, “I guess they're talking about our family”. I was sad and angry, and Auntie Hana looked at me and laughed as usual: "The idea of old age prevention is deep-rooted, and now it's nothing, and it's easier for me to forget about it."
Time would dilute many things, but it would be too difficult to completely forget that 20 years of raising their own children. When there are so many, she should eat like others and laugh, but when she's alone in her room she tears. Auntie Hana said it was good for the Government to organize their own dispossessed and disabled peers and then buy social workers' services and arrange regular follow-up visits by social workers. At the festival, they were often invited to organize community events, and they were all travelling together, making hand-made, festivities, which gave her some courage to walk out. I have some heartache. I always thought she was an optimistic, strong person, and I didn't think she had so much pain in her heart. 5
As soon as winter arrived, at 7 a.m. on 26 December, I opened a message and saw Aunt Hana send me more than 12 a.m. She said Uncle Feng was in the hospital, and she wanted me to go with her to the hospital with some supplies. I called immediately to find out that Uncle Feng had accidentally fell in the bathroom yesterday afternoon, but since the epidemic had just opened up, there was no bed left in the district hospital and he had to be hospitalized in another district. At 8:00, I went to Aunt Flower's house and she packed everything up. It was a lot: clothes, buckets, water basins, hangers, food, chopsticks, oil salt, a box of rice powder and a bag of oranges. Aunt Fa said she had hired a male nurse, because she needed 350 a day and three meals, because she was in the middle of the year, and had to pay for it. I'm going to go down the net, so I can get in the car downstairs, but Aunt Fa thinks it's easier to stop a taxi: “I've tried to use the net before, but I've been there a few times, and when the car arrives, the driver calls me off the car.” She speculates that the Internet car driver may have been too slow to comply with Uncle Feng ' s actions, or may have thought it too much trouble to help move wheelchairs. She laughed and said she understood. I can understand those who are in a hurry to feed their families. The world is real and human reality is true, but there is always something more important that deserves us to cross those realities to become a man of love and warmth. This is especially true in the face of elderly people who are in a difficult position to move, after all, when everyone is old. By the time we got to the hospital, Uncle Feng had fallen asleep in his bed, and Aunt Fa put it down and leaned in his ear and said, "Lan comes to see you." Uncle Feng opened his eyes, turned his head off and said, "Hmm?" And then, slowly, he closed his eyes, pulled the covers and covered his head. I went to see the attending doctor with her to learn about the situation and some of the precautions, and when I came back, the nurse had helped Uncle Feng to sit in his chair. It was only then that I discovered that Uncle Feng had a catheter in his lower body, and his body was sometimes leaning to the left, and then to the right, and he looked restless. Again, his horny hair is a little longer, his white beard is a lot longer, and his eyes are empty, much worse than when I last saw him. It's 1:00 p.m. downstairs, and we had a free meal nearby. At the time of the meal, she said that there was some money for a round-trip taxi and that she intended to take the subway to the hospital in the future, but did not know the exact route. I checked on the phone and told her that she needed to turn two lines and walk 10 minutes after the station, which would take almost 45 minutes. Aunt Fa scoffed herself: "Ha ha, I must have gone for more than 45 minutes, my knees aches, slow walking, and it might take one hour."
I'm afraid Auntie Hana will forget and send her the route in writing. I remind her to rest too. Uncle Feng has a nurse. Aunt Flower said she knew. I went to see Uncle Feng on my own two times after I didn't want her to make me work. For the first time, the nurse said that Uncle Feng had just finished his medicine and slept so badly, that I had not disturbed him, that I had only learned about Uncle Feng's recent situation with him, and for the second time, the nurse was feeding Uncle Feng the porridge, which she had just sent. Uncle Feng's hair was long again, his eyes were so thick, he didn't say hello to me as he always did, as if I were a stranger. Six.
In early January 2023, I called Aunt Hana to ask Uncle Feng if he was discharged. Aunt Hana's tone was so relaxed that he said he had already contacted her and went back to the district hospital, where the doctor said he would have been released years earlier. After that, I went to my aunt's house and opened the door with a big, square-faced middle-aged man who came in and was Uncle Feng's nephew-in-law. Uncle Feng, who had just been discharged from the hospital, was in a state of mental health, sitting on the couch watching TV and meeting me at the entrance, waving and saying, "Hello." In his living room, there was an extra chair on the back of the vine, which she said was for Uncle Feng, who was not able to go downstairs, had weaker legs, and sometimes had better weather, so they took him up to the roof to tan the sun, and had a chair on the back which would be comfortable. I nod my head, Uncle Feng is not good at expression, but Aunt Fa is always so sweet. Uncle Feng's lower catheter had been removed, but it was still impossible to control the urine and had to wear paper diapers every day. Aunt Hana said he didn't want to wear it at first, thought it was for children. “So I took his hand, faced face to face and explained it to him with tenderness and patience, and he was willing to wear it.” Speaking of which, she suddenly became shy. Uncle Feng is over 130 pounds, and she's too weak to move. He was asked to come to Shenzhen to take care of Uncle Feng and not to do housework. Subsequently, she privately told me that she gave his nephew $6,000 a month, which amounts to giving Uncle Feng his own pension, which has not yet been calculated for meals and utilities. She is a person who was particularly afraid of trouble and hardship, who used to have three meals at his or her disposal, but who now has relatives, who have to look at each other in a different way, and is tired of it. After a little chat, I'm going back to my office, and Aunt Fa insisted on taking me to the bus station. On the way, she told me a lot of difficulties, such as the economic stress they had if they were to keep asking. I can only comfort her by saying that now Uncle Feng is not well recovered, and that she should not be exhausted for pain. After about a month, she contacted me, saying that Uncle Feng's legs were not as good as they used to be, but that she was able to control poop and go to the bathroom herself, and she paid her nephew's son-in-law and bought some gifts and sent him home. I'm happy for Uncle Feng, and I'm afraid Auntie Hana is too tired to take care of him alone. Aunt Hana said, "Lan, I'm still able to take care of him. It's not the hardest time to have a nanny, but it's hard when we're in a nursing home and we're sick.”
Also, in Shenzhen, disabled elderly people want to go to a better old-age home and pay for nursing, accommodation, meals, about $10,000 a month. If you get sick, the cost is only higher. Early in May, at more than 1 a.m., Uncle Feng suddenly woke up in the kitchen and burned his hand accidentally. The kettle fell on the ground, Aunt Flower woke up, and she asked Uncle Feng what to do with the water. Uncle Feng can't remember again. Sometimes when they were fed, they washed their dishes and came out of the kitchen, Uncle Feng asked her, "Why didn't you cook?"
Uncle Feng's cognitive disorders seem to have become serious and occasionally confuse time. I reminded Aunt Hana to take him to the hospital as soon as possible, but she felt that the disease was irreversible and that it was not always convenient to go to and run from the hospital and did not take my advice. I had to design some cognitive training games while I was there, but Uncle Feng's cooperation was low. At the end of May, my escort service was suspended when Uncle Feng was provided with an electric climber and a volunteer was recruited. The volunteer could go up and down the stairs with electric lifts and go to the park again. At the beginning of October, I visited her like she did again, and she said, "I don't believe in ghosts, but last week was really weird. I slept so little, I dreamt that night that someone was chasing me, and I couldn't see what he looked like, and I woke up when he chased me to the corner.”
She woke up at 2 a.m. and got thirsty and got out of the bedroom. She found her door open and Uncle Feng was not in the next room, so she went downstairs. As soon as she got to the first floor, she saw Uncle Feng sitting on the stairs and saying she wanted to sit in the park. Uncle Feng can't get to the park without a wheelchair or anything on the road. Aunt Hana had to persuade him to go upstairs before dawn. As a result, two old people climbed a few steps and went back to their rooms, almost 3:30. From then on, Aunt Fa became a habit of locking the house. The burden on Aunt Flower is getting heavier, and she tells me the hard things like a joke. I was in a heavy mood and asked if she was considering sending Uncle Feng to a nursing home, but she still felt that she could cope with it and said that sending him to a nursing home would only shorten his life. Uncle Feng does not like to eat in the dining room, and she fears that the nursing staff in the nursing home will give birth because of his incompetence and inflexibility. As age increases, parents of orphaned families face increasing difficulties in accessing health care, old age and living. She wanted to go, and she decided to save the money to deal with the “worst moment” of the future. "It's an alias."
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