Her wife died after having been sexually assaulted.

“What I want to end is not life, but pain.”

On 11 April 2025, Xie Jia-jin passed away, as young as 33 years of age, after leaving almost a thousand notes on social platforms. At this point, his wife Huang Weng died for four months.

During these four months, Xie Jia-jin traveled on a daily basis for his dead wife, with bowling chopsticks and photographs. He goes to his mother-in-law Lin Ling's house once or twice a week, eats, chats, everything is normal. Until the Friday night of his death, Lin had gone to Guangzhou to work and had not been asked to come to eat as usual.

At about 12 o'clock that night, the netizens followed Xie Jia Jin's social account to find Lin's son, who told her, "It's like she's in trouble." She immediately called and nobody answered. The police arrived soon after the police called, and told her, “Your son-in-law has left.”

"I can't see at all that he has such symptoms," Lin said, "I'm not prepared at all. My daughter's gone, I know why. She's done it many times. But thanks to Jia Jin, I can't imagine."

On 8 January 2026, Xie Jia Jin and Huang Weng were buried in Shenzhen's graveyard.

Prior to that, the life of Huang was over at age 26. On the afternoon of 11 December 2024, she was also discussing her weekend trip with her mother. A few hours later, she was overdosed and the medical rescue was ineffective. And behind all this is a secret that has been hidden for more than a decade since I was seven or eight years old.

The source of the trauma: a secret kept for more than a decade.

Huang Weng was born on 5 April 1998 in the Guangdong Tzu region. In her mother's memory, Lin Lin, she was “the first three in the first grade, not the first three in the class” in primary school, and she was never worried about her mother.

Changes occurred in junior secondary schools. Lin Ling recalled that after her daughter went to middle school, “at 9.10 a.m. the teacher called and said she was not well and had to bring her back”. At first, Lin thought it was a teenage rebellion, “This school is no good and she can find another school and change the environment”. However, the situation has not improved. At the age of 14, Huang was diagnosed with severe depression at Shenzhen I Hospital. In 2018, the diagnosis changed from depression to dual emotional disorder, and for the first time in that year, she committed suicide. Over the years since then, she has tried many times to end her life and has been rescued each time.

“She's usually a drug,” Lin said, “Whether she goes to the pharmacy and hides some, or takes my room key to get my medicine. Do whatever you want."

The turn happened one night in 2022. After another suicide was rescued, Lin and her daughter opened up and said, “You have to talk to me before you die, or I die, and I can't be anyone.” That night, the mother and daughter had a long conversation, and the daughter, who had “breathed and vomited”, had told the secret: at the age of 78, she had been sexually assaulted by a male relative of the family.

In an interview with Chen Guanghui, Professor of Psychology at Shandong Teacher Training University, said: “Sexual abuse in most cultural settings is a combination of assault, shame and privacy, and most instinctive responses are usually silent. Only when an individual's heart is strong enough or seriously endangers life will the victim be willing to disclose it.” He further analysed the psychological mechanisms that he was afraid to speak of during childhood, including: traumatizing fear and threat internalization; cognitive immaturity; the inability of young children to distinguish between cares and abuse; attachment to kidnapping and guilt, and self-accusation after victimization “it was me who did wrong”; the collapse of trust, subconscious belief that no one believed; and the removal of psychological defence, which automatically severed the painful memory of the brain.

The response of Ling Ling to the truth confirms this analysis. “Seriously, it also occurred to him that the matter was bad for her, and she was afraid to speak to her.” She did not report it, choosing her own daughter. With the comfort of the mother, the situation seemed to have improved, and he became willing to leave the home and was introduced to Xie Jia Jin.

In fact, Ling wasn't completely undetected. In 2013, the two families bought the house together, in the same building in A and B. Wong Mang "Why do you buy a house with him? Why are you so close? I hate it." After graduation, the man came to his house for dinner and tea for three days, and Huang Wen always went into the room. She said to her mother, “Don't ask them to come to our house again for dinner.” But Lin asks every time why the daughter is silent.

It's a wedding picture.

Late reporting: marriage, relapse and pending cases

On 24 February 2024, on the eve of the night, Huang and Xie Jia Jin were married under a license in Shenzhen. She is seven years older than Huang. According to Lin Lin, Xie Jia-jin suffered from family failures at the university and since then school fees and maintenance have been earned on her own. "I have the impression that this man is a more honest man, with a degree."

After the marriage, she looked after Ling Ling. In 2024, on a national holiday, he travelled to Beijing, where his son-in-law helped her daughter with all her items, including skin-care items, face-washing, facial masks, etc. Four cats were raised in the family, all for Huang Weng, three at Xie Jia Jin.

However, the trauma of childhood was not healed by marriage. In June 2024, Xie Jia Jin discovered that his wife was experiencing stress and fear in the life of the couple. In pursuit of the question, Huang Weng cried and lost his voice, telling the story of sexual abuse in childhood. For the first time in more than a decade, the family tried to seek legal assistance.

However, no case was filed. The non-clarification notice issued by the local police stated that: “the child who has been charged with indecent assault in Huangvenon” was examined and that “the fact of the crime could not be established”. Lin Lin said that after the local police had informed “the man” to take a statement, the other party called her and said “he said that someone had reported him to the police 20 years ago”. So Lin said, "Do you have it?" It is even more difficult for Lin to accept that the family later accused them of “extortion” and that the relationship between the two families was completely broken.

The director of the law firm Henan Zedheh believed that the police had given reasons for failing to establish that a crime had occurred, not because of the length of time but because of the evidence. In the event that the suspect refuses to confess, the evidence in the case is only yellow. The lack of biological material evidence, witness testimony, immediate reporting of the case and other objective evidence attesting to each other, as well as the lack of living statements, prevent the chain of evidence from being closed and from meeting the standard of proof required for criminal proceedings.

"It didn't fall because I didn't say it before. I just hate myself." Ling said, "I worked so hard to have a child, raise a child, and just bloom like a flower."

The chain of disease: how childhood trauma breeds mental illness

When the report was not reported, the condition of Huang Weng deteriorated again. “As a result of depression, secondary trauma, a series of injuries came.” Lin Ling recalled that her daughter had an abscess in breast knots and that her physical symptoms were repeated.

11 December 2024, a seemingly normal day. Doreen leaves at 4:00 p.m. Messages were also sent to the mother on her weekend trip to Tsai, and to Thailand on 28 December. At 7:00 p.m., Ling saw the message from her daughter: "Mom, I'm leaving." She immediately sent her son home and found the door locked and was in a deep coma when she opened the door. She was overdosed with sleeping-type drugs and died after being taken to hospital after being rescued.

What is the connection between the severe depression diagnosed at age 14 and the later two-way emotional disorder, and the death of 26 years old, and the mental illness of Huangvenmin and the experiences of childhood sexual assault? Chen Guanghui gave a professional analysis.

At the neurophysiological level, “the severe trauma of childhood can disrupt the function of the hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal axial axial effects of cortex, emotional stress management of the brain, serotonin, dopamine, acrylic disorders, and the birthing of a pathological basis of uncontrollable emotions, which can easily lead to severe depression and thus develop into dual emotional disorders”. At the cognitive level, “sexual abuse brings with it a deep sense of shame, low self-esteem, despair, a total collapse of security, a long period of self-denial, a flashback of trauma, human fear, and a constant pattern of negative thinking that leads to depression. The accumulation of trauma has led to extreme emotional recovery, which has gradually evolved into a bipolarity of dual emotions.”

4 months of farewell: unrecognized extended wounds

The death of the wife was devastating. In that letter from his brother, she recorded the last time. In the early hours of 11 December 2024, he dressed his wife in the morgue, “I said to Master, be gentle, don't hurt her, she's afraid of pain.”

For the following four months, he ate every day for his wife ' s incense, bowling chopsticks and photographs, leaving behind nothing. In early 2025, he took a photo of his wife to Thailand to complete the two scheduled trips. Once or twice a week after her return from Thailand, she went to her mother-in-law ' s house. Lin Ling's memory: "I don't see anything unusual."

Lin told him to look ahead: "You're still young and you can fall in love if you have the right. My daughter's gone. You've got no choice." Xie Jia-jin did not resist or accept, but continued to come to dinner and chat every week, without mention of his wife, as usual.

On Friday, 11 April, Ling Ling left Guangzhou without having him come to dinner. That night, she wrote almost a thousand words: “I went to the psychiatry unit on purpose last month, and my purpose was not to treat, but to make it easier for my relatives to accept today's results.” “I am tired, I want to rest, and what I want to end is not life, but pain.” “Honey, every week before you say to me, `You have to come to pick me up', and this time I want to say, `You have to remember to pick me up. `"...

Thank you, Ka Jin, for writing almost a thousand words.

After the death of Xie Jia-jin, online opinion called it “Most-day Leung Sang-Bak”. In response, Chen Guanghui argues that this romantic narrative is far more damaging than good: “The first is to embellish the pathological properties of the psychological crisis by embellishing the sickness and emotional distress into a faithful love; the second is to mislead the public to feel that it is in love with the poor and the risk of suicide; the third is to shift the focus of attention to the co-infection tragedy caused by the female child's sexual trauma and to the crisis in which the man's acute and emotional distress has not been intervened in a timely manner; and the fourth is to diminish the value of psychological help and to weaken the notion that `the pain can heal and life is worth keeping'.”

“The person left behind”: guilt, distress and multiple pursuits

After her daughter's death, Ling's greatest concern has been Xie Jia-jin. She asked him to come and stay at home, “not to be alone at home, to go to places where people live”.

Until Friday night, 11 April, he was waiting for news of his death. Lin finds herself ashamed of her family: “My son-in-law wouldn't have lost his life if my daughter hadn't been so hurt by that man.” But she went on to say, "My daughter is also a victim. What did she know when she was seven or eight?"

Now Lin Lin is alone in a huge hole and is diagnosed as depressed and anxious, trying to post her daughter's experiences on the Internet, “all two or three hours remain to sleep at night”. "What if I fall, and these cats?" She said that she had only one wish to be interviewed: that future children and parents would know how to face such things. “The child was hurt as a child and had to tell his family right away that he could not hold on to himself. Growing up with shame, even less dare to say." She said their generation, “No knowledge after 70”, added: “Boys must pay more attention.”

After the events were brought to light, a number of questions were raised as to whether a young woman with a history of more than a decade of mental illness and severe trauma in her childhood was effectively connected to the social system. Is the pain of a husband who has lost his love and has fallen into prolonged mourning? How can a mother who loses her daughter and her son-in-law, who is guilty and who calls for help?

Chen Guanghui pointed out that assistance for victims of sexual abuse during childhood requires a multi-system approach: “The mandatory reporting system is truly on the ground; a one-stop system of evidence and psychological assistance is in place; the prevention and punishment of sexual abuse by relatives is strengthened; and social prejudices are eliminated and victims dare to seek help”. With regard to early intervention by the deceased, he recommended that “at-risk populations actively follow up and establish a regular follow-up mechanism; raise public mental health awareness and raise awareness of the extended trauma; and establish accessible channels of psychological assistance”.

In the spring of 2025, Ling went to Shek's by-law. Everybody sits together and eats, and nobody mentions them. "But everybody knows it." She said.

Source: New Yellow River client B57